Is This the Question God Will Ask You When You Die?

The great novelist J.D. Salinger got a lot of things right. Among them, he wrote that one of the only questions that will be asked of us when we die is this:

Were most of your stars out?

Now, obviously, no one can know God’s plans for us. And I am sure I have readers who doubt the existence of God. But I think Salinger was on to something.

I think our journey in life, as human beings, may well be to get “most of our stars out.”

What does this mean? I believe it means that we each have a destiny—including the use of our talents and the expression of love (which may be the same thing)—and that we have to attempt to achieve that destiny. We have to get our stars out.

In order to know whether we have shone through to the greatest possible extent, we have to determine who we are, in our deepest essence. Are we, at the core of our existences, healers, businesspeople, writers, engineers, teachers, painters, or police officers? And how are we shining through as parents, friends, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters, husbands and wives.

One might think that the process of finding oneself—truly and irrevocably—should be easy. The trouble is that knowing one’s destiny and then expressing it can be very frightening. We tend to accuse ourselves of being imposters in our own lives, especially when it comes to the gifts we quietly believe we may have.

How can a person find his or her true self? The best disciplines to participate in are:

1. Psychotherapy: Insight-oriented psychotherapy or counseling remains the gold standard.

2. Meditation: Meditation clears the mind, allowing for the focus necessary to identify one’s core talents, hopes and dreams.

3. Prayer, Faith-based Discussions, Religious Services or Pastoral Counseling: A central theme of Christianity, Judaism and other religions is the value of the individual, especially when that individual has stopped running from what his or her heart and mind really dictate.

Somehow, back in the sixties or seventies the phrase “finding myself” took on the connotation of avoiding work and being lazy. But it isn’t easy at all. It takes focus and devotion. And there can be no more worthwhile pursuit. Because none of us can offer the world around us our very best if we are as though strangers to ourselves.

A world with enough people in it who are expressing themselves would be a very loving world, indeed. Now, you can use a simple question to move in that direction.

Were most of your stars out?

Keith Ablow, MD
Founder, Keith Ablow Creative, Inc.

Comments are closed.