SIX MONTHS OF KEITH ABLOW CREATIVE Celebrating True Creative Synergy (Again and Again)

Six months ago, I launched Keith Ablow Creative, in hopes of bringing my expertise in writing, producing and launching new businesses to others.  I didn’t know what to expect, of course.  New ventures have an inherent element of uncertainty.  That’s part of the fun, actually.

Far more has happened than I could have imagined.  One person and one company after another has reached out with worthy ideas that we have teamed up on.  And the results speak for themselves.  Here’s a sampling:


A New Book

I teamed up with a wonderful healer and writer Kathi Fairbend, MS, RPT to create and publish her new book, Stand Up To Depression: How to Activate the Mind Body Miracle and Defeat Depression.  Ms. Fairbend, one of the nation’s top physical therapists, makes the very important case that one’s posture can signal the mind that a person is moving forward in life, not giving up, and can actually help conquer depression.  John Williams, Composer/Conductor, of the Boston Pops and Boston Symphony Orchestra said of the book, “If you are lucky enough to acquire a copy of this book, live by it!”  And Donald Ingber, MD, PhD, the Founding Director of the Wyss Institute for Biologically Inspired Engineering at Harvard said, “In essence, Kathi offers a potential escape from the downward spiral of depression.”


A New Album

I teamed up with brilliant new recording artist Ohana Haas to find a production team to create and release her first album,  The Broken.  The album was produced by recording artist and PR guru Christian Josi, founder of Slay Media and top-flight musicians, at Manhattan’s historic Pyramid Studios 



A New Television Program

I teamed up with Jack Cunningham, a decorated Marine veteran, to develop a scripted television drama called Combined Action, a drama series based on the Marine Combined Action Program (CAP) during the Vietnam War. CAP placed Marines inside South Vietnamese villages, living alongside villagers, as their friends and protectors, for long periods of time.  This counterinsurgency program was extremely effective at maintaining allegiances with the South Vietnamese, but it was very dangerous.  CAP Marines not only had to worry that their presence made the villages prime targets for the Communist North Vietnamese, but also that those they were living alongside might turn out to be the enemy or, if not that, might abandon the village if fighting got too rough.  They also had to live with the possibility that, when they left the village after a year or more, the village might be quickly overrun and burned to the ground by the North Vietnamese.  This is a drama series about emotional connections between Marines and Vietnamese villagers, with humor, drama, intrigue and pathos.



We’ve got lots more happening at Keith Ablow Creative and I can’t wait to share more soon.  If you’re passionate about it and want to team up on it, I’m all ears and I’m driven to make what you can imagine become a reality.


Keith Ablow, MD

Founder, Keith Ablow Creative

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Recently, I teamed up with Jack Cunningham, a Marine who served in Vietnam.  Jack has been pursuing the very laudable goal of developing a television series based on the Combined Action Program (CAP) of the Marine Corps.  He’s also helping me get the word out about my initiative #HELP22, founded with Commander Kirk Lippold, USN (Ret) and Christian Josi, to provide free life coaching and counseling to veterans on the 22nd of each month.


About the Combined Action Program

CAP placed Marines inside peasant farming villages, living with residents 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  For this reason, CAP was called “A Peace Corp with Rifles.”  The assignment was an amazing opportunity to live in an entirely different culture and to be integrated and accepted into that culture.  Incredibly strong bonds formed between villagers and Marines.  But the assignment was also extremely hazardous because the North Vietnamese wanted to obliterate villages that hosted CAP Marines and because any resident of the friendly village might still be a Communist sympathizer quite willing to kill a Marine.  Generally, just 11 Marines and one Navy Corpsman lived day in and day out with thousands of villagers.


About Jack Cunningham

Jack has devoted a tremendous amount of time and energy to describing the highs and lows of life as a CAP Marine, even creating a website that does a very good job of sharing his experiences (  Here is just a bit of Jack’s writing that shows the razor’s edge CAP Marines had to walk between the real and very human bonds they developed with villagers and the peril inherent in trusting those bonds:

Over the next few weeks we came under fire a number of times during the day and night. (The communists were constantly trying to instill fear in the peasants.) On a number of occasions we received intelligence reports from [the villagers]. The Civil Action Programs within the village created a lot of trust of the American boys. We also received intelligence that we were going to be wiped out.

These reports caused some of our Popular Forces (village militia) to disappear at night. They felt why fight today when there’s always tomorrow. Some PF militiamen even took off their uniforms and hid them, along with their rifles, so they could blend into the peasant population.


About CAP Marines

Imagine the dedication required to keep fighting for folks you’ve become connected to who aren’t always willing to fight for themselves. Imagine the empathy required to remind oneself that members of a village militia, as laudable as many of those men must have been, just aren’t likely to be made of the stuff of U.S. Marines.


What is Jack’s Goal?

By the way, Jack isn’t looking to get rich collaborating with a television production company; he’s looking to enrich the perspectives of Americans about the kind of sacrifices Vietnam veterans made for the United States and for Vietnam.  The story of the CAP Marines is perfect terrain because it shows Marines like Jack becoming fixtures in the lives of South Vietnamese men, women and children, about whom they cared very deeply, while they risked their lives to battle the Communist North Vietnamese.


I think it’s time television told the stories of CAP Marines, to whom we all owe a debt of gratitude.


Keith Ablow, MD


Founder #HELP22

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Announcing The Keith Ablow Creative Writing Contest

Winners Chosen Weekly.  A prize from The Ablow Center is awarded to the writer who writes 500 words judged to have the greatest potential to make others think more positively about themselves or the world around them.    Click the following link to enter:

Dr. Keith Ablow has published 15 novels, true crime and self-help books with major publishers, collectively selling millions of copies. Two of his books were New York Times bestsellers. To encourage other writers, Dr. Ablow’s new website will host a weekly writing contest. Contestants must submit a maximum of 500 words that show insight into, or engagement with, the world around them.  Writers must post something inspirational or positive about any one of the following topics:

Police, veterans, religion or spirituality, reflections on a newspaper article from the Boston Globe, Boston Herald, NY Times, or the NY Post (please include a link to the article), the benefits of counseling and life coaching, gun rights, the judicial system (courts, judges and the jury system) or personal autonomy.

The first 25 entries each week will be reviewed, with $50.00 awarded to the winner, along with a virtual certificate which the winner is free to post to social media. Each winner will be recognized on Keith Ablow’s website and eligible for an annual grand prize of $1,000.00.

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Beginning in 2015, I began publishing a list of ways to improve your life. Last year, as 2019 debuted, I published, “19 ways to improve your life.” The year before that, I published “18 ways to improve your life.” You get the idea. The tradition continues this year, with the addition of No. 20. And, just like last year, I’ve added bits and pieces to some of the 19 earlier items.

New Year’s resolutions often lose their power so quickly and completely that they have become cliché. But there are real, easily achieved ways to positively impact your life beginning this first week of January.

Here’s your cheat sheet of 20 for 2020. They aren’t in any particular order, so you can pick any one to start with.

If you complete just five, you’ll notice a demonstrable improvement in your existence. But if you get through nine of them, you could remake your life.

1. Try to recall one dream you had as a kid – whether it was being a poet or a rock drummer or a multimillionaire stock trader – and take just a single step in that direction. So often, the ideas we had as children were good ones, and we abandoned them out of fear. The step in the direction of your childhood dream can be very modest – signing up for a symposium on poetry, scheduling a single drum lesson, or buying a DVD on stock trading. Even just telling two people about your quiet dream can move it forward. Frozen dreams have a way of thawing out rapidly when you warm them just a tiny bit.

You’ve got to expect that your dream might well wrestle with you to remain just a fantasy. We resist our dreams because fully embracing them provokes anxiety – like jumping onto a raft that will take you down thrilling, but heart-stopping rapids. Your dream could argue that you should put it off until later, or that it’s entirely irrational, or that you don’t have the energy or the time or the money to pursue it. Don’t expect to feel great taking the first step in the direction of your dream. Take that step, in spite of your anxiety.

2. Think of your life story, going all the way back to infancy, as an autobiographical book that you can hold in your hands. Now, imagine which page or paragraph you are tempted to tear out and remove from the story. That page or paragraph might be the one that makes you feel profoundly sad or powerless or guilty or ashamed. Next, share it with someone who knows you well but has never heard about that event or phase in your life. Being willing to disclose the events in life we want to turn a blind eye to takes away the power those events have over us.

You can’t be loved unconditionally, especially by yourself, if you think some part of you or what you lived through is too dark to bring into the light.

3. Give a meaningful gift to a friend of yours on a random day – not his birthday or her anniversary or Christmas. Giving gifts on those days is fine, but that isn’t the same as an unexpected, unscheduled gift. Those are the ones that feel riskier to give and have more power to bond you to others who receive them. And that’s because they’re real and independent expressions of friendship, affection, admiration or love.

Giving gifts has an interesting side effect; you’ll feel wealthier, even though you’ve just spent a little money. Why?  Because human beings either feel bountiful or barren. Giving of yourself doesn’t deplete you. It fills you up.

4. Send handwritten notes to three people you admire most in the world, no matter how powerful or famous, tell them sincerely exactly why you admire them and ask to meet for 10 minutes. There’s a real chance one of them will take you up on the offer. And that one meeting could change you, because great energy is contagious and being in the company of it can stay with you.

Very few people actually reach out, personally, for help from those who can give it the most. Do you know why?  They worry they’ll be rejected or made fun of. But think about it. If you have no attachment to the outcome of your note-writing campaign, if you understand from the get-go that you may receive no replies to your three notes, then there’s really no risk. Here’s another hint:  You could send out 50 of them. Or 100. And there’s no rational reason not to.

5. Give some amount (no matter how small) to the charity you care most about. As I said above, giving is a miracle, because it helps others while also telling your unconscious mind that yours is a life of abundance, not scarcity. And that invites more treasures into your existence. Here’s one I just gave to, which I happen to know is completely legit and does great work, the Warrior Reunion Foundation Here’s another one I’m giving to today:

6. Stop telling yourself you love people just because you grew up with them. This is a big one, but a really important one. Did your parents and siblings earn your love by unconditionally loving you as a child? If so, great. But if you’ve been wishing that had been the case and have felt unwilling to let the dream of having had unconditionally loving parents or siblings slip away, then loosen your grip. If the people you grew up with weren’t focused on helping you stay true to yourself, then admit it to yourself. You might stop unconsciously recruiting people just like them into your life.

Here’s the key question:  Who has loved you and who has been attached to you? Loving you requires the intent to know you as an individual and to honor and foster your uniqueness. Attachment can feel very powerful, but it is closer to owning you than celebrating you.

7. Schedule an initial life coaching, counseling or psychotherapy session. These are the gold standard ways to begin to get to become the person you were always meant to be. In a world of distractions and depersonalization, these are professions reliably focused on restoring your connection to your true self and your full potential. Hopefully, that first session will convince you of the power of teaming up with a coach or counselor to change your life, and you’ll schedule more. No one with the financial ability to do so should deny himself or herself that transformational opportunity.

One caveat: Not every coach, counselor or psychotherapist would be a good fit for you. Some aren’t a good fit for anyone, because they aren’t very talented. If your first session leaves you cold, try scheduling one more with someone else. The first counselor I went to wasn’t worth my time or my money. The second one utterly changed my life.

8. Get angry about something unfair, say so out loud and don’t stand for it. Anger gets a really bad rap in our culture; it’s accused of everything from destroying people spiritually to causing heart attacks. But suppressed anger can be more toxic. When you’re offended by something you hear about in the news or you see unfolding in your personal life, try saying so, in no uncertain terms, when you’re asked about it – or maybe even if you aren’t. For those of you who have been living lives of quiet frustration, letting yourselves be very direct and very mad about something that sincerely outrages you can start to crack the shell that has your most powerful self inside it.

Here’s one of my favorite Bible verses: Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth? Galatians 4:16 King James Version (KJV)

9. Take two minutes to think about life as a labyrinth. Mazes are built to frustrate people and get them lost. They’re full of dead ends designed to make people give up and call for helicopters to pluck them out. Not so with labyrinths. Labyrinths may wind this way and that way. They may take you far from where you thought you were heading. But they always, always lead to the center. And that’s what life is like. Keep walking, keep your faith and life will take you where you are supposed to go. The turn toward the center could be just a few steps away, when you least expect it.

Now, keep this in mind, too:  You don’t get to choose the day or week or year that turn toward the center happens. It could be tomorrow or it could be many tomorrows from now. The point is to know that it is coming, not to know when.

10. Try praying, at least once. If you haven’t prayed ever or haven’t prayed lately, you’ll discover that the act of praying for what you care deeply about has the effect of reminding you what that thing or those things really are. It also has the effect of reminding you that there is a great power in the universe that you are a part of. There’s something interesting about praying; even people who say they don’t believe in God are loathe to pray for the opposite of what they really want. How come? Is it because that, underneath all that cynicism, they actually do believe?  I recently completed my graduate certificate in pastoral counseling at Liberty University.  The power of prayer has never been clearer to me.

11. Read “Franny and Zooey” by J.D. Salinger, “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield, “Self-Creation” by the great psychologist George Weinberg (used copies available online), “Blue Dog” by George Rodrigue, “Fear God and Take Your Own Part,” by Theodore Roosevelt, “Zen or the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” by Robert Pirsig, or “The Betrayal of the Self” by Arno Gruen (or, even better, all seven). These seven volumes have the power to transform people, and I keep handing them out to patients and friends (along with – please forgive the narcissism – my book, “Living the Truth”). If you’re really short on time or intention, just read the Afterword to a later edition of “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.”

12. Buy one piece of original art. It doesn’t need to be expensive. It just needs to appeal to you. Why? Because art is the antidote to our sometimes sterile, technologically driven culture. It makes humanity go viral in a way that YouTube can’t. It also confirms your connection to things that can’t be measured – like your personal vision of beauty. A good alternative is to create a piece of art. Just be sure to buy yourself the proper brushes or paints or glue or wood to create it. That will be a signal to yourself that you value what you are manifesting.

13. Watch the movie “Miracle,” with Kurt Russell. This film about the 1980 U.S. Olympic men’s hockey team defeating Russia’s team is so good, it can convince you to take on the next great challenge in your life. I don’t know anyone who has watched it and been unaffected by it. Also watch the closing argument by Paul Newman at the end of the film “The Verdict,” the scene of Sylvester Stallone and Talia Shire on the beach in “Rocky III,” the monologue by Al Pacino toward the end of the film “The Scent of a Woman” and any performance of “God Bless the USA” by Lee Greenwood. They can help make you a better person. No kidding.

14. Tell your romantic partner one thing you would find exciting that you have not yet told that person. In my experience as a therapist, I’ve found that people can remain strangers to one another, in terms of passion, even after 10 or 20 years of marriage. We keep secrets. Let one out. You can write it down and pass it to your partner as a note, like we did back in grade school, before cell phones. See what happens. Take the risk.

15. Stand up for someone else. You’ll have the opportunity this year. I promise. Maybe in your home. Maybe in your neighborhood. Maybe at work. Maybe online. Defending someone will reassure that person and empower you.

16. Take 20 minutes to pretend that you are speaking to yourself, from the heart, as though you are your own ideal parent. You can do this out loud, if you have the stage presence, or silently. An ideal parent is empathetic, but honest in assessing his or her child and giving that child advice. Sit yourself down, get very quiet and, then, tell yourself – with the same care you would summon for a son or daughter – two things you really admire about yourself and one very limiting, very disappointing thing about yourself you really wish you would try to change, because it could limit the whole rest of your life. That one thing should be so on-target and so necessary that it has the power to make you angry, make you anxious, bring you to tears or bring you to your knees. Focusing longer (say, 15 minutes) on the admirable qualities is something you’d do for your kid, to take the sting out of the next 5 minutes, so do that for yourself. And keep in mind that 20 minutes is a long time. You’ll be tempted to avoid it or shorten it. But you shouldn’t.

17. If you are a parent, resolve to mimic a habit I stumbled upon when my kids were younger. It really helps me stay balanced during times that might otherwise cause me lots of stress. Here it is:  Whenever I get a phone call or an email or a text from someone telling me a project of mine or a goal or a relationship has hit a rough patch, I tell myself silently: “Yeah, well this isn’t like a pediatrician calling me.” What I mean is that, short of bad news about a child of mine, coming from a pediatrician (or, if your kids are older, like mine, an internal medicine doctor), nothing can really rock me. Because all of us parents know exactly how much time we would have for what seem like the big problems of our day or our week, if the phone rang, and a doctor on the other end said something like, “Can I ask where you are? Because I’ve seen your son, and I have something serious to talk with you about. I’d like you to come in.” I’d have no time for all my other so-called problems, and neither would you. So, things are actually better than we actually realize, most all of the time.

18. Remind yourself that neither you, nor I, nor anyone else is assured of another New Year’s Eve. I know that may sound morbid, but it’s also true. This could be your last year. It could be my last year. Don’t deny that fact, embrace it. Try waking up as many days as you can thinking to yourself, “If I can leave a bit of a positive mark today, I will.”  Maybe it will be as simple as listening a little longer to someone than you might be inclined to. Maybe it will be complimenting someone who deserves it. Maybe it will be calling an old friend to tell her you were thinking of her. We are all a series of thousands of actions. Every single one of them matters. And there’s no way of knowing when we won’t have another chance to add to the list.

19. Write out a thoughtful, healing, motivating message to yourself and read it every morning.  Your journey through life is an ongoing one, but it also begins anew each waking day.  Reminding yourself of the grand roadmap you intend to travel can create a silent and powerful narrative that plays at the back of your mind, coaxing you toward higher self-esteem—and your dreams.

20.  Think of one person you respect or like a whole lot, whom you’ve lost touch with.  Get back in touch, by the end of the day on January 8.  That gives you a week to reach out—by email or text or, even better, by writing a letter or calling on the phone.  Chances are that the person you select is someone you’re “supposed” to be back in touch with. Why?  Because you’ll have chosen him or her, and the universe is a lot less random than you might think.  One other thing:  Let the person know that he or she was your first choice of 2020—of everyone possible—to reconnect with.


So, there are your 20 keys to making 2020 a transformational year. As I did last year, I give them to you with the certain knowledge that you still have, inside you, all the wonderful potential you did the very first day you were born. You haven’t lost one bit of it. It’s all there, just waiting for you to discover it.

Don’t delay. Start on the list today, and by this time next year, God willing, you’ll be ready for the 21 steps for 2021. Life is like that: a never-ending process of self-improvement.


–Keith Ablow, MD

Keith Ablow is the Founder of and  Contact him at [email protected].


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A Gift from The Ablow Center this Holiday Season

All human beings have to survive pages or chapters of their life stories that bring sadness, challenges to self-esteem or even questions about how to go on.  No one gets through life without such events or phases, sometimes prolonged ones.  How can these darker threads of life get woven into the fabric of our existences and still yield vibrant patterns?

Writing on this topic at Christmas (or Hanukkah, for that matter) might seem odd.  After all, everyone is supposed to be celebrating the holidays and feeling joy, not dwelling on past or present pain.  But the truth is that for millions of people, holidays also bring up lots of memories that aren’t joyous, including those about losing loved ones. And the lights of the holidays can cast long shadows in the lives of those who feel as though they shouldn’t or can’t dwell on darker thoughts.

What better time could there be, actually, to think about the will to survive than on Christmas when we celebrate the birth of Jesus, who is resurrected on Easter? What better time could there be to think about the will to survive than on Hanukkah commemorating the victory of the Maccabees to re-establish their right to worship as Jews?

These are stories of confronting adversity, yet being reborn, of confronting oppression, yet fighting through to freedom.

So, for those whose holidays are times when they find themselves searching for strength, not just celebrating, here are hints of ways to survive anything.


  • First, find your faith. No matter what your religion is, or even if you don’t worship as part of one of the large, organized religions, finding faith means believing—or just beginning to believe—that every single event in your life can be used to make you a more giving and powerful person.  Every event is part of a plan for you, as an individual, that isn’t meant to hobble you, but to make your life story, ultimately, one of triumph.  In our losses we have the opportunity to become more loving.  In our challenges we have the opportunity to find more courage.  In what seem like our defeats are the opportunities to build our resilience.


  • Second, become vigilant for opportunities to turn your faith into concrete actions.I promise you that there is more organization to the universe than many people suspect.  There is more organization to your life than you may suspect.  Look for moments to turn adversity into power, and you will find them.  This is the nature of resurrection.  Christ’s death on the cross was not the end; it was the beginning of a miracle that transformed countless lives.  You, too, will be resurrected, but you have to look for opportunities to make that happen. Your destiny still awaits you. Do not dismiss people you meet who want to listen to your story or who have a similar story.  Do not dismiss what seem like coincidences or bridges too far—meeting someone or reading about someone starting a business like one you’ve always thought about building, feeling a tug of affection for someone after losing a spouse or divorcing, a thought that enters your mind about writing a book about your experiences.  These are just a few examples of innumerable ones that might unfold.


  • Third, don’t go it alone. Whether you reach out to a member of the clergy, a counselor, a life coach, a psychiatrist or a psychologist, please consider teaming up with someone as you confront adversity.  Teaming up allows for your vision of the future to be kindled by someone else’s. It can really help to be listened to, but also to hearwhen someone thinks you should take needed actions to fuel your perspective, increase our momentum or honor your potential.

James Joyce, the great writer and literary critic, put it very well in his first novel, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man:


“To live, to err, to fall, to triumph, to recreate life out of life!”


Merry Christmas.  Happy Hanukkah.  Onward . . .


Keith Ablow, MD

Founder, The Ablow Center

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Developing True Free Will

After 25 years practicing psychiatry, almost as many testifying in criminal trials and about a year now working as a spiritual counselor and life coach, I feel I have a lot of data about how free will really works. Here’s the headline: True free willisn’t nearly as common as most people think.  If you want to be one of those who really has it, you’ll probably need to do some work.


Defining True Free Will 

Free will is not just freedom to decide.  Free will really only operates when a person is making decisions based on his or her true character, real underlying desires and a focused view of the choices and challenges at hand.  In order for that to be the case, lots of patterns of emotion and behavior that operate as reflexes rooted in the past have to be neutralized.


Here are two examples:


  • Let’s say you always felt slighted, compared to your two siblings. You felt that your parents asked more of you or celebrated you less.  It’s then entirely possible that you will have an exaggerated response to an employer or partner or friend who seems to be leaning on you or to be favoring someone other than you.  You’ll be the one “choosing” to walk out on the job or go to war with your partner or sever your friendship, but it won’t be a choice made with true free will, because it will have been fueled by old interpersonal dynamics that never got cleared out of your mind, heart and soul.


  • Or, let’s say you were always told as a child that pursuing your artistic dream was a fantasy which, if taken seriously, would lead you into poverty. You have “chosen” to keep working in the software industry, based on leftover fears, instilled in you way back in childhood.  That isn’t true free will, either.


Again, true free will is the freedom to decide based on who you trulyare, what you trulywant and how you would trulyreact, without the undue intrusion of past chapters of your life story.


Developing True Free Will

The only way to develop true free will is to identify those old emotional reflexes for what they are—leftovers from past dramas that don’t serve the present moment, at all. Once they are identified they can be cleared out and then no longer contaminate today’s decision-making.

How can you do this?  How can you rid yourself of the old patterns still in control of the choices you make, old patterns that obliterate true free will? There’s one gold standard way:  Counseling, psychotherapy or life coaching that challenges you to shed past habits of thought and behavior, in favor of purer ones that tap into true intention. Today’strue intention.


Why Does True Free Will Lead to Real Success?

Exercisingtrue free willis, in fact, the only way to achieve genuine success.  Why?  Because true free will is a reflection of one’s true self, which is a gift from God or the Universe, however one may see it. True free willautomatically taps into your true passionand true personal power.  You automatically choose to pursue your real dreams and stand for your true ideals and take the right risks, because they come from your core, not from your rote reactions to old intrusions upon you as a child or adolescent or young adult.


Some of these themes are central ones in my book, Living the Truth.


The Ablow Center and True Free Will

In a way, the chief mission of The Ablow Center is to restore true free willto clients, to leave them unencumbered by the agendas of others, exercising their real intentions, pursuing their real dreams, saying what they really mean and entering into relationships they really want.  Maybe that’s why clients of The Ablow Center have, in just the last 30 days, released a new album, published a new book, launched a new Internet startup, opened a new restaurant and recruited an investor to take their business to a whole new level.  It’s a lot less likely that clients will be depressed or anxious or sleepless or distracted or overweight or using substances, by the way, when wielding their true free will.


Keith Ablow, MD

Founder, The Ablow Center


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