Almost all of us live at some distance from the painful truths about our lives, sometimes going to great lengths to continue avoiding them. To the extent that we do, we actually diminish ourselves.
To find the self-esteem we need to live full lives, we have to look back to when and how we were deprived of it. To find the self-confidence we need to pursue paths that truly interest us in life, we need to determine what we lived through that temporarily eroded that self-confidence.
In truth, our pain is the source of our power. Dig deeply enough to find the roots of what is limiting you, and you will have done the lion’s share of ridding yourself of those limitations. That’s one of the core principles of Pain-2-Power.
Robert Frost put it this way:
Something we were withholding made us weak
Until we found that it was ourselves
Feeling lost or unmotivated or without professional passion is actually an internal alarm system to find oneself. And there are two elemental truths that can help give you confidence to undertake that journey:
- The journey never fails when properly undertaken.
- The journey never ends without finding oneSELF, because that self is eternal.
Too many people believe that embarking on a quest of self-discovery might yield no benefit—that they will actually get lost in the twists and turns of a maze as they journey into the earlier chapters of their lives. But our life stories are not mazes. They are labyrinths. Labyrinths always end at the center. Sure, they may take unexpected turns that seem to be leading further away, but just keep walking and you’ll find out otherwise—sometimes all of a sudden, as the path takes a sudden turn in a much-needed direction.
People also sometimes worry that they could come to the center of the labyrinth and find that there is only quicksand there, or a black hole—that they have no core self, after all. I promise you that this is never, ever the case. Each of us is solid at core. Each of us has an eternal self waiting to be discovered. And that self is the source of our greatest abilities, our truest capacity to love and our greatest potential to share our gifts with others.
Dr. Keith Ablow