Are you living through adversity right now?

The Pain-2-Power Jury Stays Out A Long Time

Are you living through adversity right now?  Maybe you find yourself facing a business reversal or struggling through a divorce or being treated for an illness.  Maybe your reputation has taken a hit or a treasured friend has let you down or abandoned you.  I want you to keep something in mind—right at the front of your mind:  The way you respond to the adversity at hand will end up being far more important than the adversity itself.  You may not see the results of staying strong and true in the midst of the challenges you are facing, but the results will become manifest.  It’s just a matter of time.  In other words, the Pain-2-Power jury stays out a long time.  But if you remain courageously committed to love, integrity and principle, the jury will come back in your favor—every time.

How can I assure you of that?  I can because I know from decades witnessing the unfolding stories of thousands of people that the entire universe is set up in just that way.  Stay focused and stay on a path to build your best self and you will be restored—and more.

Part of the difficulty of waiting is that you can’t control the clock.  You have to be “in it” for the long haul.  If your business fails, you have to be willing to look at the reasons why it failed, without giving up by assuming that you can never start another that will succeed.  If you find yourself dispirited by your work, you have to commit to the introspection needed to identify and express your real gifts—at your current job or by finding another.  If your family is fractured by divorce, you have to stay “in it” by fending off bitterness and bringing as much commitment and support and love to your family members as you possibly can.  Remember, the “jury” is still “listening” to evidence about who you are, deep in your soul.  In fact, the jury never stops listening.

One other thing you can’t control is the way the jury delivers the verdict.  Yes, if you show commitment and character while waiting, the verdict will be in your favor.  I promise.  But it may be that the verdict is delivered by your son or daughter who, after witnessing lots of struggle on your part to resurrect your business, without ever really achieving the desired results, remarks, “The reason I don’t give up on myself, Mom, is because you never did.”  Who among us would trade that reflection for a better business balance sheet?  The victory—the verdict—wasn’t even on that balance sheet.  The richness ended up manifest in the steel backbone of your child.

This can be the ace up your sleeve, then:  You, not circumstances, control the verdict that results from every trial in your life.  Taken to the extreme, you can still decide whether to tie your shoes if they are worn through at the toes.  Do you understand me?  You can decide.  And if you think for one moment that the jury won’t notice, think again.  The jury notices everything.

Are you in pain?  The way you deal with that pain is your power—inherently and inextricably.  You cannot be defeated by others because you have to decide to be defeated.  If you get up, again, or even try—really, truly try—you win.

Dr. Keith Ablow

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